eight. Two Little Teachers.

These two young giggling girls were inseparable. They lived together in a home in Uganda, Africa- The Ntinda House. They were there because they have no traditional family, for now. Some of their sisters they lived with had come to the Cornerstone organization taken from sex trafficking, others taken from abusive homes, from the death of parents, and still others from abandonment. But, you could never tell when you're surrounded by these girls that they had already experienced the harshness of the world in their lives. This girl's house specifically did every event during sports day with their whole hearts. They fought hard against the boys, they cheered each other on, they picked each other up off of the pavement when they fell but not with their hands. The spirit of trust and understanding was so strong that this became the arm lifting them to try again. Try again, and again they did, together.

I was watching how connected they were all day from a distance. Even when they found out that they were not the house champions they were all disappointed and stormed off in a fiery of disappointment that soon faded back into smiles. 

When there was ever a free moment they danced. I think this may be the piece that connects them deeply. It’s easy to sit in your pain with others spending time complaining and thinking about all the ways in which the world has victimized us. But, it is a much bigger talent to put that aside, to open our hearts again, to be vulnerable, to trust, and to dance in that. 

All of the girls that day shined bright. 

But, it was watching these two specific girls that made that day one I will not forget for a long time. 

One was a little ball of sunshine. Her smile was as big as the sun and her energy bounced around off of people like the futbol that was popping around on the field. Her energy always seemed to be encouraging the others to "play, more, now please!!". The other kept her happiness to herself. She was content, understanding, and more thoughtful then her partner. She played when asked, but also pulled her friend to sit sometimes and watch what was going on even if it was only for a few minutes before she started to pop around like a futbol again. From all the way across an entire field, I could see that those two fully accepted the other never trying to change who they were. This component often seems to be the catalyst for such a visible foundation of love. 

I spend a lot of time thinking about how to create a better reality for the foster children in America who disappear there in the years of switching homes and changing schools. I spend a lot of time thinking about how to give tools and trainings to teachers and mentors so that they can seize the organic opportunities at every turn for youth the build self esteem and confidence-a gift that can’t be taken away if it is authentically grown. 

So, it was a jolt of reality for me that day when suddenly I felt that longing I used to feel when I was a little kid in the system, wishing I had a foster sister, or a family who totally accepted me, loved me, nurtured me like these two girls were so perfectly modeling all day. Even as an adult (or something like that), I look back and sometimes feel sadness about what I surely missed with many homes except my last. And it’s a reality check for me every time that I too am still working on this self-esteem I try so hard to teach others they are good enough to have. For me, it still takes a lot of intentional effort to allow myself to be loved. 

I am here in Africa to “teach” others tools. It was pretty clear to me the second day I got off the plane that it was Uganda that was going to teach me more and not by their eldest, but their youngest. 

I visited another house the next day called The Mengo House and it too was filled up to the roof with love and laughter.  This again reassured my ideas that the US should think seriously about turning back to a system of orphanages with loving heads of the households. Yes, we would need to re-think what that looks like, god knows many of the “group homes” we have know are failing in many ways. But, it can be done- and we can start now. When you put a group of kids together in a loving space with some caring guidance, they never fail to build a community that us adults, and absolutely our government, should be taking notes from. 

Okay one more thing about watching these girls all day.

I have always struggled with trusting women because of my past. Today, I was reminded of the women who have not only become my supportive family, but have also created an energy around me so strong and warm that I can pick myself up when I fall just by knowing they are there. I will never be able to explain to them what their love has given to me. It has given me the courage to live in the present most days, courage to go to Africa, and courage to feel love. It has given me the courage to be wrong, to say I am sorry, to explore who I am by stretching the limits of my life to find out what’s right for me.

And that left me in a profound place of gratitude, one that sticks with me everyday as I travel the world. 

With that comes peace...

And with peace…joy.