Jacina is so different from me.
Besides the fact that she is now a whopping five years old, she is also the first little kid that I ever had the gift of watching grow from such a young age. She moved to Little Rock with her mamma to come stay with me; she was tiny. Now my memories of that time are so precious, they fill me up with thank you's. Those memories make me wish I had the power to go back there and live them again.
High chairs and crawling, she has always been a mamma's girl. Always liked girls things like princesses and dresses and ballerinas and pink and purple objects that never really caught my eye.
She is smart and observant, telling me directions to places from when she was just over three.
She is sassy about what she wants, picky about what she eats, and stubborn when there are decisions to be made.
We love each other a whole lot.
She adds to my life in ways I can't explain. Hugs and laughter and exploration happen with her all the time since she is always willing to take walks with me for no good reason and get dirty for all the right reasons (her Mom would not agree).
She expects little of our time together. She asks great questions. There is no doubt that when we are together she wants to be no where else. She makes me feel valued without trying.
Jacina is such a good teacher. She gently reminds me when my phone is out too much: when I am not practicing presence.
She loves little things, like water balloons breaking on the ground, the hilariousness of Barbies stuck on the tops of trees in her back yard and unplanned time to play outside where there is something to explore at every minute.
When she leaned over to kiss me the other day during our Mary Poppins play- she reminded me that there is no time to wait for kisses.
....and when she was dancing to the music of the actors and ignoring the seat behind her for the whole play, she reminded me that we make our rules, and that the rules that make us comfortable and happy are usually not the ones written on the wall that most of us restrict ourselves too.
I want to be like Jacina's spirit more often than I am choosing to be like now in my adult world full of unattainable deadlines and self induced stress and "I am too busy for you."
Since been back to the USA, I have been really intentional about slowing down when I am with her. I guess I have been spending time with her with the intention of treating her the way that she treats me in my actions and attentions. In doing that, I have learned.
The last few times we have hung out, she has been doing this beautiful thing.
Jacina Lee Foster (as she would call herself) has been asking strangers how they are doing. Coming from my shy little princess- it has been a brilliant example of courage I wouldn't have ever guessed from her. Then, if they respond to her (and sometimes they don't) she will say, "have a nice day."
This may seem silly. Insignificant.
But, it has been so powerful for me.
First of all, I can see the courage it takes her to ask. I watch as she looks at me after she spots someone. Next, she just blurts it out. "HOW ARE YOU?" Sometimes quiet, sometimes loud.
Second, I see the great reactions and how most often these strangers needed to be asked that specific day that specific question regardless of whether or not it came from a five year old.
They melt. Some kneel down, others tell me how cute she is....some walk away cause they were so wrapped up in their own thoughts they didn't hear her.
Every time is a lesson and every time, no matter what the reaction- she says " have a good day."
I ask her questions after those not so positive encounters like, "do you think they heard you?" Or "What do you think they are thinking about." Her answers are always intuitive, honest, and positive.
The last answer she gave me about a older woman who walked right past her was this: " I think she has to go pick up her baby from daycare and is late."
I talk to my classmates and friends for hours about how much we struggle just saying hi to someone, inviting someone to dinner, asking if you can come to a party. We blame others for not making us feel important, and it's hard to do the same for them. We grow up and let ego get in the way which is interesting isn't it?
I would argue Jacina is starting to struggle a little with ego too. It's the hesitation I see before she asks someone.
It's her courage we can learn from, and I do think it is courage on the deepest level. It's the lessons of intentional action and kindness.
It's the one I am learning from that sweet girl every time I get the gift of time with her.
Besides the fact that she is now a whopping five years old, she is also the first little kid that I ever had the gift of watching grow from such a young age. She moved to Little Rock with her mamma to come stay with me; she was tiny. Now my memories of that time are so precious, they fill me up with thank you's. Those memories make me wish I had the power to go back there and live them again.
High chairs and crawling, she has always been a mamma's girl. Always liked girls things like princesses and dresses and ballerinas and pink and purple objects that never really caught my eye.
She is smart and observant, telling me directions to places from when she was just over three.
She is sassy about what she wants, picky about what she eats, and stubborn when there are decisions to be made.
We love each other a whole lot.
She adds to my life in ways I can't explain. Hugs and laughter and exploration happen with her all the time since she is always willing to take walks with me for no good reason and get dirty for all the right reasons (her Mom would not agree).
She expects little of our time together. She asks great questions. There is no doubt that when we are together she wants to be no where else. She makes me feel valued without trying.
Jacina is such a good teacher. She gently reminds me when my phone is out too much: when I am not practicing presence.
She loves little things, like water balloons breaking on the ground, the hilariousness of Barbies stuck on the tops of trees in her back yard and unplanned time to play outside where there is something to explore at every minute.
When she leaned over to kiss me the other day during our Mary Poppins play- she reminded me that there is no time to wait for kisses.
....and when she was dancing to the music of the actors and ignoring the seat behind her for the whole play, she reminded me that we make our rules, and that the rules that make us comfortable and happy are usually not the ones written on the wall that most of us restrict ourselves too.
I want to be like Jacina's spirit more often than I am choosing to be like now in my adult world full of unattainable deadlines and self induced stress and "I am too busy for you."
Since been back to the USA, I have been really intentional about slowing down when I am with her. I guess I have been spending time with her with the intention of treating her the way that she treats me in my actions and attentions. In doing that, I have learned.
The last few times we have hung out, she has been doing this beautiful thing.
Jacina Lee Foster (as she would call herself) has been asking strangers how they are doing. Coming from my shy little princess- it has been a brilliant example of courage I wouldn't have ever guessed from her. Then, if they respond to her (and sometimes they don't) she will say, "have a nice day."
This may seem silly. Insignificant.
But, it has been so powerful for me.
First of all, I can see the courage it takes her to ask. I watch as she looks at me after she spots someone. Next, she just blurts it out. "HOW ARE YOU?" Sometimes quiet, sometimes loud.
Second, I see the great reactions and how most often these strangers needed to be asked that specific day that specific question regardless of whether or not it came from a five year old.
They melt. Some kneel down, others tell me how cute she is....some walk away cause they were so wrapped up in their own thoughts they didn't hear her.
Every time is a lesson and every time, no matter what the reaction- she says " have a good day."
I ask her questions after those not so positive encounters like, "do you think they heard you?" Or "What do you think they are thinking about." Her answers are always intuitive, honest, and positive.
The last answer she gave me about a older woman who walked right past her was this: " I think she has to go pick up her baby from daycare and is late."
I talk to my classmates and friends for hours about how much we struggle just saying hi to someone, inviting someone to dinner, asking if you can come to a party. We blame others for not making us feel important, and it's hard to do the same for them. We grow up and let ego get in the way which is interesting isn't it?
I would argue Jacina is starting to struggle a little with ego too. It's the hesitation I see before she asks someone.
It's her courage we can learn from, and I do think it is courage on the deepest level. It's the lessons of intentional action and kindness.
It's the one I am learning from that sweet girl every time I get the gift of time with her.
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